stuff honduran people like.

#1 Swimming in their clothes.
What makes them think a white t-shirt and white shorts with no underwear or bra is less revealing than a bikini once it gets wet? And I am still the one getting all the attention. Hello! I can see her nipples!

#2 Making as much noise as possible.
Except from the hours of midnight to three a.m. But other than that, complete cacophony.

#3 Impregnating and being impregnated.
From the age of fifteen on. And on and on and on. Seventy-five percent of women here are preggers.

#4 Unnecessary touching of the person near them.
No regard for personal space. This is fine when you are a beautiful European, but not a campesino reeking of rotten beans & rice.

#5 Waking up at 4:30 in the morning.
Followed by blasting church music or setting off fireworks. For no special occasion except for that the sun is going to rise. This is where I also start fantasizing about the sound of machine guns.

#6 Churros & fresco.
Chips and soda. All times of the day. Lots of them. Then throwing the trash on the ground, out the bus window, at a dog, or anywhere but a trashcan.

#7 Having no teeth.
And doing everything possible to lose them. Babies come out of the womb sucking on a bottle of coke.

#8 Being the first to get on and off the bus.
Cutting in line is a national sport. They like to rush to sit down on this hot, humid bus. Then rush off to stand in line for their luggage. Genius.

#9 Taking model-shots of themselves.
Especially on the beach. But I've also seen it on the run down streets of Tegucigalpa. Then posting them to hi5.

#10 Growing out their toenails really long so they can decorate them.

#11 Breastfeeding in public.
They will whip their boobs out in the mall, on a bus, a street corner, while driving, and during brunch. I am all for breastfeeding, but take it around the corner. And I think six years is too old to still be breastfeeding, right?

#12 Sitting down.
How dare they are forced to stand up for over one minute of their lives!

#13 Cleavage.
Showing it and looking at it.

#14 Fitting five pounds of sugar into a two-pound bag.
AKA wearing clothes that are WAY too tight.

#15 Irritating Americans.
By speaking the 3 words of English they know or about the time they lived in North Carolina.

#16 Showing their fat, hairy, ugly panzas.
A "panza" is a belly. They will literally fold their shirts up to show these nasty things to the world.

#17 Washing their cars.
During rainstorms, in rivers, every single day. No joke.

#18 Abusing animals.
Throwing rocks at them, not feeding them, kicking them, running them over, dragging them from their trucks with a leash attached.

#19 Deep-frying EVERYTHING.

#20 Matching from head to toe.
Pink socks, pink high heels, pink mini skirt, pink tube top, pink fedora, pink hoop earrings, and probably pink underwear but I am never going to be one to find out.

#21 Ice-cold showers.
Even when hot water is available. Even in North Carolina.

#22 Burning trash.
Especially the plastic bottles. Then breathing in the fumes, hence the motive for this list.

#23 Fried chicken.
At any hour of the day. Usually on buses. At any temperature. Better when soggy and served with a side of parasitic coleslaw.

#24 Staring.
At me.


Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing. I have adapted every single one of these traits and will cherish the habits forever.


Inspired by a friend who is too pc to write this on their own website.